questions...

why is it so hard to live this life? i have so many questions in my mind that need some answers... wanna know these questions? i don't know too... it's like i have these very huge question mark's running through my head... or may be i'll know the question when i have found the answers already... gets? no? me, too..sometimes, i think this is the effect of me doing nothing YET in my life, i don't have work yet, i know i'll have one... i think so?!..or the effect of having no plans for tomorrow, just waiting for something or anything to happen... always checking messages from email and celfone... there are times, i want to do something to fill up the spaces in my life, spaces meaning the times i do nothing but to think of anything... there are many things that popped up in my head... but i don't know where to start... and i don't know if when i choose one, it will be the right decision... o life!... just to share with you... after "o life!", i paused for almost 30minutes thinking if im going to put in this post the things i have in mind right now but i decided not to... i 'm not yet ready or can i say i'm still afraid of the comments and things people reading this will say... to give you a hint.. it's about me... the person who i really am, what i really am... if you really know me.. you'll get it already!... well.. all i can say is that i'm happy with my life... i have nothing to regret except one... secret!... i can say that i am lucky in all the happennings in life... yes, there are ups and downs but i know it's life... i dont' know why but i easily understands... what i mean is if something bad happenned, if there are no chances to change it back to normal, accept it... there was a time... a friend who knows a little fortune telling... he looked at my palm... he said that i am using my mind and heart balanced, which means that in all the decisions i make, none of the two, the mind and the heart, goes over the other... they work with harmony... and i think it's true... but sometimes i am not aware of it...